Saving Bella
by newestcullen
Summary: Bella is ill and having nightmares, but vampires don't sleep and they can't get sick.  Will Edward be able to find the cause for the trouble and will he be able to save Bella from herself? A/V Takes place shortly after Breaking Dawn. Please R
1. Edward's Nightmare

**I do not own Twilight, it belong to Stephenie Meyer. She created such vivid characters that have allowed us to spin our tales and I for one am very grateful!**

**EDWARD'S NIGHTMARE**

"What do you mean, the first time Bella and I crossed paths? Bella and I didn't meet until she moved to Forks two years ago."

I was almost shouting at the small wrinkled woman who now sat in the livingroom of my family's home. Reluctantly, I had taken the advice of Carlisle and consulted, Helena Stone, a psychic to help explain the nightmares Bella was having for the last three months.

Actually, you couldn't call them nightmares, since vampires don't sleep, but there was no other word to describe the experiences she was having.

At first they were infrequent, lasting less than 5 minutes each time, but about a month ago they started coming almost daily and would last as long as 20 minutes. Then three days ago she had two episodes almost back to back. Since then she has been going in and out of these 'nightmares' so much that I began to fear for her sanity.

Even though a vampire's body is mostly indestructible, I could see the stress this was having on her. She was jumpy, any noise or action would startle her. There were constant worry lines across her forehead, her eyes were almost completely black with just a thin line of amber around the perimeter and the circles under her eyes were incredibly dark even after feeding. It was as though this thing was swallowing her up, body and soul.

In the beginning she tried to relate what happened when her eyes would glaze over and she fell into a trance like state. All she could remember, she told me, was a paralyzing fear and intense pain. I thought that perhaps it was related to when she was changed into a vampire. I had never completely believed that she couldn't recall the experience, especially when she avoided letting me see her memories of the initial transformation. But, I was unable to see anything when she did open her mind to me. Try as she might, these secrets wouldn't reveal themselves.

Carlisle had examined her thoroughly, attempting to find a physiological cause for the disturbances, with no luck. He had enlisted the help of a psychiatrist friend who could be trusted not to ask to many questions, but again to no avail. The doctor had tried everything he could think of, even hypnosis, but nothing helped.

My family was as worried as I was, Rose, Alice and Esme had taken to staying with Bella when I couldn't. They, along with Jake, kept Renesme entertained. Although trying to keep the severity of this from our highly intelligent , intuitive daughter was futile. When Jasper, Emmett and I hunted we would make extra kills, draining the blood to bring home for Bella. I was worried that the stress of hunting would be too much for her.

She rarley went out side now, prefering to stay inside, in the shelter of our home. She took no joy in anything. She didn't read, she didn't laugh or smile, and it seemed impossible for her to concentrate on even the simplest interactions with the family. It was as though she had died and all that was left was a ghost of her former self.

Carlisle had researched human and vampire history alike and could find nothing to shed light on the problem we were facing.

That is why, finally, Carlisle had suggested a psychic. Perhaps, he pondered, the explanation was not of this world as we know it. I was skeptical, to say the least, but being at wits end, I was ready to try anything, no matter how bizzare.

"You and Bella have met before, or I should say almost met. I can't see how many times, but I am sure it's been at least three." The old woman looked up at me.

"You mean in our past lives?" I asked her, my voice dripping with disbelief.

"Not your past lives...just hers. Bella has been reincarnated at least three times in the last hundred years."

Without thinking, I sat down. Good thing there was a chair behind me or I would have found myself on the floor. So stunned was I that my surroundings had faded from view.

All I could focus on was the little grey woman. Everything about her was grey. From the concrete color of her hair, pulled back in a tight knot at the base of her neck, to the paleness of her skin, to the iron grey dress that hung loosely over her tiny frame. Even her old lady shoes were of a dark grey leather. All except her eyes, those eyes were deep blue, deep in color and deep in their knowledge and understanding. My gaze traveled down to the long chain that hung around her neck. It was the only adornment to this otherwise drab costume and at the bottom of it was a large, plain, gold cross.

"As I was saying", she continued. "The first time your paths crossed was in 1911, when you were still human."

"When I was...?" My words stalled in my throat.

"Oh yes, I know what you are." Her blue eyes looked even deeper now. "However, I think you and your family are different from other vampires. I noticed your eyes first...they're the same color as Carlisle's. Is that what happens when you don't drink human blood?"

The matter of factness with which she spoke left me speechless. After what seemed like hours, which of course was probably only a minute or two, I found my voice.

"Yes", I said quietly.

I had so many questions I didn't know where to start. I wanted to know how she knew about vampires. I wanted to know if she had met any others besides us. But, Bella's well being was the most important thing at this point, so I asked the woman.

"How can you know that Bella has been reincarnated?" The lines around her eyes crinkled as she smiled cryptically at me.

"Who knows how our gifts come to us? Can you explain the reason for your gift of reading minds? I can only tell you that I see the past, the past of your current life and the lives you have lived before. Although I admit it's more difficult for me to see Bella's past. She's very difficult to read."

"Tell me about it." I muttered under my breath, shaking my head and adding a sacastic laugh.

"You can't read her mind?" The psychic seemed intrigued.

"Not normally, but she has learned to open her mind to let me see what she's thinking. She and I tried after these episodes started, but it wouldn't work. You say she was reincarnated three times?"

"Actually I was wrong about that, I'm sure now that it was four times in the last century. Of course, she has had other lives before that. She's a very old soul, you know, you both are. Infact, I see the two of you together in at least one of your incarnations, but I felt that it was more important to focus on her last four lives."

I didn't need to do the math to realize that four lives, not counting this one, in the last hundred years must be pretty unusual. "She must have died very young each time."

"Yes", the old woman agreed with me, her face scowling at the thought. "Quite young, I don't think she ever lived past the age of twentyfive. I wish I could see more...the way she died especially", she sighed.

"Is there anything you can do for her?" Already knowing the answer, I asked it anyway.

"No, I can only see the past, and with Bella my vision is very limited, but I would like you to talk with my grandson, Andrew. His gifts are different from mine and I think they might be helpful here."

So desperate to try anything, I agreed to meeting with him. Besides, this little woman had impressed me with her knowledge and acceptance of us. With the understanding that she would set up the meeting as soon as possible, I walked the old woman to the door, where Carlisle was waiting to drive her home. Leaving the main house as well, I was anxious to get back to my own little family.

Normally, the urge to run would be strong. The experience of releasing my vampire strength while running through the woods had always been quite satisfying, until now. Admittedly, though, I could take no pleasure in such selfish activities when Bella was suffering so much. So, with hope in my unmoving heart, I walked back over the path Helena and I had traveled, less than two hours before, when I escorted her from the secluded cottage.

Walking into the small, but comfortable livingroom, I immediately spotted my lovely daughter, in the corner, with her 'nose buried in a book', as Bella called it. Even though she shared my telltale bronze colored hair, to me she was still more her mother's daughter.

Looking into those deep, thoughtful, brown eyes, I was taken back to the first time Bella gazed up at me. She used those eyes to seek out the man that I truly was, the one I rarely let anyone see. The person she instinctively knew existed, no matter how much I pretended otherwise. I fell in love looking into those eyes, over two years ago, and was grateful, every day since our daughter's birth, that Renesme had taken that characteristic from her mother.

"Hello daddy." Her voice sang out to me.

"Hi sweetheart, are you enjoying your book?" _Just like her mother._ I thought.

"Not really, it's not the same since mommy got sick." Her head bent down momemtarily, quietly examining her hands that now covered the open pages of her novel. "Is the lady that was here today going to help make mommy well?" She asked, now searching my eyes.

"I hope so, honey, I hope so, smiling encouragingly at her." I leaned over to hug her and kiss the top of her head. "Where is your mother, sweetheart?"

"She and aunt Alice are in the backyard, by the pond."

"That's good, I think I'll join them for awhile. Go back to your book sweetie."

Which she did, if somewhat reluctantly.

Bella and Alice were indeed by the pond that was visible through the master bedroom's french doors. They both smiled at me, though neither smile looked truly happy. The truth was revealed by looking in their eyes.

Alice's eyes held fear and worry, but also a faint glimmer of hope, a pleading for some good news, for a miracle. Along with all that, they expressed the deep love and affection she had for Bella, and for me as well.

Bella's eyes looked tired, as they always did now, but there was something new, a look of resignation. She was giving up, her reserves gone. She didn't want to fight this anymore, only to accept it. What would happen if she did accept it? Would the nightmares increase until she had no break from them at all? Would she be driven into complete insanity? Would her indestuctible body succumb to the madness of her mind? I couldn't let that happen. If she was too exhausted to fight, I would do it for her. We would all fight for Bella.

Convincing her to rest with me, we walked slowly to our bedroom, holding each other while the night overtook the day. Laying down on the huge bed, my arm found its home around the waist of my beloved and I held her close, burying my face in her hair as I had a thousand times before.

Alice graciously took Nessie back to the family home. I felt a pang of guilt for the lack of time and attention our daughter was recieving from her mother and myself, but a vision of her laughing with Jake and my family relieved me of my unhappy thoughts.

"Thank you Alice." I whispered, smiling at the pleasant image in my head.

The night and much of the morning had passed and we still lay together with our bodies entertwined. I could remain like this for an eternity, my fingers caressing Bella's smooth, perfect skin.

But, three times her mind had been assaulted as we lay together. I had to find out when Helena's grandson Andrew would meet with us.

I also needed to hunt, for myself and for Bella.

The musical voices of my mother and my pixie sister floated into the quiet space.

"Come in Alice" I grumbled.

Bella chuckled, "You can't fight her, it's easier to let her have her way."

"Well, it's in his best interest to go along with me anyway, he needs to hunt." The dark haired sprite announced as she danced her way into the room, followed by our loving mother. "So you might as well scoot now, Esme and I have to talk to Bella about redecorating Renesme's room."

"Alright, alright, I'm leaving." Turning back to my wife I kissed her softly. "Don't let them bully you into redoing the whole house."

Bella smiled as I gave a warning look to Alice before departing the room to shower and change.

Later, sitting in Carlisle's office, he filled me in on what had transpired this morning. Mrs. Stone had called first thing, she and Carlisle had arranged for Andrew to meet with us here this afternoon at three. She would not attend this meeting, however, due to a previous appointment.

"Carlisle, Bella had three episodes last night. I don't know how much longer she can hold on if things don't improve. It's like she's slipping away from me more and more each day and she doesn't seem to have the strength to fight anymore. I'm afraid she's giving up."

Carlisle nodded sadly, "Yes, I've noticed it, too. Her decline is obvious to us all, Edward. I am hopeful that Helena and her grandson will be able to help us, if they aren't, I am afraid we wil need to take more drastic measures."

"Such as?"

"Electroconvulsive therapy, perhaps. I think I could modify some standard equiment to emit enough electricity to elicit the desired convulsive response. Sedation might also be an option. There are a couple of drugs that I have been studying that I believe would be compatible with our vampire biology."

"So, doping her with drugs and shocking her brain with electricity are our last options? What Carlisle, don't you want to try a lobotomy as well. Lets cut open her brain... maybe we should just remove the part that's causing the problem!" I glared at him while pacing around in the small space of his office before collapsing in the chair across from my father.

"I know these suggestions sound terrible, Edward, because they are. But, there don't appear to be any other alternatives. I've exhausted every avenue I can think of. That is why we have to believe that Andrew and his grandmother can help, because the other options are too unpleasant to contemplate." He attempted to soothe me with his voice, as his hand rested on my shoulder.

"Thank you Carlisle, I'm sorry for snapping, I'm just so frustrated. I want to fix this and I don't know how." Carlisle raised his hand, dismissing the need for an appology.

"Forget it son, we all know how much stress you've been under, I'm surprised you haven't lashed out worse. We all love Bella so much, it's devastating to watch her suffer like this. Please know that we want to help the two of you in any way we can."

I thanked him for his words of love and concern and once again he waved off the necessity of my words.

"Why don't you go hunt now, so you can be back in time for the meeting, Emmett is waiting for you downstairs.

The hunt went quickly, my brother and I took down a herd of muledeer, satisfying our own thirst and procuring a substantial amount of blood to take back to Bella. It was five minutes after three o'clock when I stepped into the livingroom of my family home.

"Ah Edward, you're here," Carlisle turned, meeting my gaze. "This is Andrew Stone, Helena's grandson. Andrew, this is my son, Edward."

We shook hands and greeted each other formally before taking our seats in the comfortable space. The image of the young man that sat in the chair next to me was not what I had expected. The vision of a swarthy man with greasy black hair and a single gold earing or perhaps a gold tooth or maybe even both had played in my head most of the day. However, this was no bandana wearing, tambourine playing, crystal ball gazing gypsy. This young man was conservatively dressed, even by Cullen stanards. His long sleeved pullover sweater and slacks matched perfectly in a medium shade of gray that Alice would probably describe as 'heather'. The white shirt he wore underneath had a thin pearl gray stripe running through the fabric that was visible at the collar and cuffs. He even wore a tie! (Not too wide or too narrow of course.) His light brown hair was cut short in a very traditional style and his gentle, hazel, eyes expressed a seriousness that exceded his age. He looked like he should be considering a career in politics or at the very least the ministry.

Jasper joined us quietly as Andrew began speaking.

"My grandmother explained your situation to me last night. She said that your wife has been suffering for the last three months, that the episodes have increased in severity and frequncy, and that you have made multiple attempts to help her without success. Is that right?"

"Yes", I replied. "Would you like to go to the cottage now, to meet Bella? She prefers to stay there as much as possible."

"That won't be necessary, actually. I don't think Mrs Cullen's presence will be needed. In her weakened condition, I don't think she could help us. However, I believe you can."

"I can...how?"

"Through teleportation." Andrew met my confused expression.

"Teleportation? You expect me to believe..."

"Whether you believe or not is irrelevent. But, actually, I find it confusing that you can't accept the idea of teleportation while your brother is an empath." He nodded in Jasper's direction. "Your sister is clairvoyant, you are telepathic and your wife has some sort of shielding capability. Why is teleportation such an impossibility, when all around you are examples of just how powerful the mind can be?"

"That reminds me, why can't you project your thoughts to others?"

"I...I never thought to try."

"Well, you should consider it. It is only reasonable that your gift would allow you to share your mind with others. You'll have to work at developing the skill, but I'm fairly certain that with practice you could project your thoughts, that is, after we're done of course."

"Of course." I mumbled.

"Now, as I was saying, I think that teleportation may help us find the cause of your wife's ailment. Normally I would instruct you on learning to teleport yourself, but time is of the essence here, so I think the best thing to do is to guide you mentally. That happens to be a special gift of mine, to be able to take someone with me. I provide a vehicle of sorts. I cannot take you back in time physically, however, I can take you back mentally, to the body you had at that time. You will be aware of everything and in command of your body. Hopefully, by doing this we can learn what is triggering Mrs Cullen's problem."

"Now, teleportation involves accessing the energy in us and around us. Place your hands on the outside of both of mine." Andrew reached out his arms in my direction, his hands about four inches apart, palms facing each other, and fingertips pointing upward.

"It is very important to concentrate, clearing your mind of all other thoughts and remain completely still. You may experience some disorientation and perhaps some physical symptoms of sudden movement at first."

Keeping still was certainly an easy request, since vampires could be still like nobody's business. It should have been easy to concentrate as well, but my mind was bombarded by so many thoughts, from so many directions.

Mostly, my thoughts were of Bella. How long could she hold on in her current state? Even if the teleportation did work, would we really be able to figure out what was causing her episodes? If we couldn't find an answer, would I have the strength to allow Carlisle proceed with sedatives and shock treatments? With a concentrated effort I pushed all of those thoughts, and all the others plaguing my mind, aside as instructed.

Taking a deep, but unnecessary breath I placed my hands over Andrew's, mirroring their position and waited. Time ceased to matter as I focussed only on Andrew. Maybe 5 minutes passed, maybe an hour, I really can't say.

I don't know what I expected to happen while I looked in his eyes. I know I did not expect the wave of dizziness and nausea that swept over me while the light faded from the room, making everything a dark, muted gray. I felt myself being pulled away. It wasn't as though my body were moving, just my thoughts. I felt my mind moving long distances, further and further away from the reality I had known for almost a hundred years. The last thing my vision held was the face of Andrew. It held for a moment longer and then it too was gone.

Swirling gray's, fading sounds and smells coupled with the ever increasing dizieness and nausea helped to intensify my disorientation. I could no longer decipher left from right, top from bottom, back from front. Then, slowly, everything reversed itself. The journey of my mind was over. The gray cloud lifted.

I was standing, but not as myself. I was a boy, a boy of 10 or 11. I was in MY body as a boy. The memories came flooding back, I was no longer a vampire, I was human.

**Author's Note: This is my first attempt at Fanfiction. It is a short story, only five chapters and I will be updating frequently. I look forward to your reviews, please let me know what you think.**


	2. 1911

**A/N As promised I am updating quickly. This is the shortest chapter in the piece, but I think you will like it. Don't hesitate to criticize my spelling, grammar or writing, this is a learning process for me. Thanks, enjoy.**

**Twilight belongs strictly to Stephenie Meyer.**

**1911 **

The first sensations were of the smells. There were the smells of fresh cut grass and trees. The smells of cooking, the distinct smell of beef stew, homemade bread and pie...peach pie. It was amazing, I hadn't consumed human food in over 90 years and I could still remember the smell of peach pie. Somewhere in my dim memories I recalled my mother's fresh peach pie and my mouth began to water.

There were other scents now, the whitewash paint on the fence two houses down from my home, the faint smell of smoke from somewhere further away, and the smell of my new leather shoes.

I had spent most of my day, fighting off boredom, watching the boats on the Chicago river move under the Rush St. Bridge. Dutifully, I had made my way back home before the evening meal, as I promised my mother, but not before making my way to Lily Pond at Washington Park, to watch the ducks of course.

That was one of my favorite pastimes, to play with the ducks. I didn't actually play with them so much, usually I just watched them or fed them. Once in a while I could coax one of the baby ducklings into eating out of my hand, until it's mother shooed it back to the pond. Playing with other boys my age didn't hold much interest for me, I had no interest in sports, although I could run really fast. I was more content to visit the ducks or play with my pets, when I had them.

For a few months I had a pet rabbit that my uncle had given me for Easter, but mama and papa told me that it was cruel to keep it in a cage, so I gave it to my cousin who lives in the country. Mama let me have a pet snake and a hamster, as long as I kept them in the basement. Then one day the snake got loose and ate the hamster and papa made me sell the snake back to the pet shop downtown.

I knew that my father wanted me to become a lawyer like he was, but I liked animals so much that I was thinking about being an animal doctor. When I was sick with the mumps last winter the doctor came to our house to see me and I thought about all the animals that would get sick and not have a doctor to take care of them.

Considering those memories now, I wondered if I would have made a good animal doctor or if that was just the unrealistic fantasy of a ten year old boy.

I stood on the porch of my childhood home and gazed out at my former neighborhood. The tree lined street seemed to go on forever, as did the cable car tracks in the middle of the endless street.

Across the road there were a group of three boys, about my age, laughing cruelly and tossing an object back and forth. A slightly younger, brown haired girl ran between them, desperately trying to retrieve the object. They continued to taunt her as she made attempt after attempt to interrupt their game.

My attention was drawn from the battle as I heard shouts from down the street. From my periphery I watched as our neighbor, Mr Morgan, ambled down the steps of his front porch. He paused under one of the black and white striped awnings that shielded the windows, of his house, from the sun.

"The church is on fire." Someone was shouting to Mr Morgan, as he turned to look down the street.

Following his gaze, I stepped off my porch, too. My head moved in the direction of the strong smoke odor. Crossing the yard, I could see the First Presbyterian Church, that I and my parents, had attended every Sunday of my life. It was being consumed by the flames. The smoke billowed black against the late summer sky, as everyone, including the young lads, went running in the direction of the fire.

I felt the urge to run, too. The chaos and excitement of the blaze called to my boyish curiosity.

It was then that I saw the little girl with the long curls. Instead of heading toward the fire, she was in the middle of the street bending down to collect the precious item the boys had callously tossed away for better prospects. As she started to rise, her deep, chocolate, brown eyes met mine and stared inquisitively, before she blushed and looked away.

In that brief moment I saw the fine, delicate features of her porcelain face and I was mesmerized by the loveliness of this child.

With her possession in hand, which I could now see was a worn and tattered book, she turned away from me. All at once a large, lean, black and white, spotted dog bounded up, barking ferociously at the girl, from the far side of the street. Frozen in fear, the girl clutched the book to her chest and stared at the beast, just as I was staring at her.

Neither of us heard or saw the wagon...that is...until it was too late. My head snapped as she looked up the street, watching the fire wagon round the corner and race toward the fire, being pulled by three enormous horses. Her eyes darted to me as we both realized there was no way I could get to her in time. The dog continued to bark frantically, willing her to move, but she remained still, unable to save herself from the oncoming vehicle. The driver pulled up on the reigns, too late, the team would not be stopped.

It was over in an instant. One moment she was a living, breathing, beautiful creature...the next she was lifeless, still and broken, but beautiful all the same.

A shudder ran through my body and I felt my heart rip in two. A loud wail left my lungs in response to the scene before me. I was running, running to my love, my body bleeding internally from the loss. I stopped a few feet from reaching her as two of the firemen approached with the unrealistic hope that they would be able to save her precious life.

I could have told them they were too late. I saw the light leave her eyes, I saw the moment she ceased to be.

90 year old tears streamed down my face, I sobbed as I never had before. There was no one who could comfort me, the only one who could was gone and she was unable to come back to me. The beautiful butterfly fluttered no more, it's wings quieted in death.

Before one of the men covered her with his coat I noticed the stubborn, defiant expression on her face. There was no fear, only anger and frustration. These emotions, I assumed, were from her realization that her life was ending too soon. She would not be allowed to grow into the beautiful, capable woman I knew she could be. All her potential was lost in that one fateful moment.

There was a burst of activity around me. Frantic voices and the sound of running feet filled the air. Cries of despair came from all sides. "Isabella!" A woman screamed. _Isabella...Isabella._ My mind reeled at the name.

Suddenly a torrent filled my head. I could feel myself being pulled away, pulled back to the present. I fought against the swirling sensation, attempting to stay where I was, to stay with my Bella.

When I opened my eyes I saw the concerned faces of Carlisle and Jasper. A tearless sob ripped from my lips as I crumpled into the comforting arms of my father.

"She died! She died and I couldn't save her. I should have saved her. She shouldn't have died!"

"This is the past Edward, you cannot alter the past", Andrew answered quietly.

I could feel the calm of Jasper's gift wash over me as I breathed deeply.

"It's natural that you would want to keep her safe, but no one has the power to change what has gone on before. This is how she died in 1911. She was 7 years old and she died." Andrew's voice was not without compassion.

"But, why show me her death if I couldn't help her?" I was confused, the emotion of my experience building once again.

"I brought you to that time to find the answer to your wife's problem now. There is a connection to her past and what she is currently going through. We have to find it if we are to be sucessful in releasing her from her torment."

"Answer? There was no answer, only her death! She was trampled to death as a little girl and you made me watch." The venom pooled in my mouth as my anger grew.

"The answer may not be apparent, but that doesn't mean it's not there. We have to keep working on this, I'm convinced that Mrs Cullen's problems are connected with her past."

"Are we going back to her other past lives?" My voice was stained with the dread of watching her die over and over.

"Yes, but right now I need to rest. This experience has exhausted me. If I am going to be of use to you, I must allow my mind and body to regroup. I'll come back tomorrow at the same time and we can resume our efforts. I think my grandmother would like to come along if that's alright."

"Yes of course." Carlise spoke for me, knowing I was still in too much shock to be civil, let alone courteous.

**A/N How did you like learning about Edward as a boy? I always wondered about that myself. Thanks again.**


	3. 1930

**A/N Chapter three, how do you like it so far? Chapter 2 should have been titled 1911 but as I said 'learning process'. Unfortunately I took some bad advice. Oh well, such is life. Anyway, enjoy and let me know how I'm doing.**

**I do not own Twilight, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**1930**

True to his word, Andrew and his grandmother returned promptly at three o'clock. We were gathered together, the five of us, our two guests, my father, my brother Jasper and myself.

I was grateful for Carlisle's presence. I hadn't realized how much I relied on his strength until Bella fell ill.

It seemed as though, through my life as a vampire, he was always guiding me, helping me to stay strong and do the right thing. Carlisle was my yardstick for what it was to be a man, if I lived to be a thousand, I don't think I would ever quite measure up.

Jasper was also there for me, I was very glad for his calming influence, but I was equally glad that the rest of the household was absent. The thought of having everyone watching and waiting was not conducive to my self control. I was glad they were otherwise occupied. Emmett an Jacob were in the backyard, playing with Nessie. My mother and sisters were with Bella at the cottage for an impromptu fashion show by Alice. She and Jasper were scheduled to visit Japan a month from now and she had already purchased several kimonos for Jasper and herself. From reading her mind I knew she was planning a full tea ceremony after modeling her new purchases.

After a few pleasantries with Andrew and Helena, we got down to business and repeated the actions of the previous day. Being better prepared, I wasn't as unnerved by the sensations I encountered. Freeing my mind, I quickly concentrated only on my guide. The dizziness and nausea were much less severe than the first time and I felt myself almost welcoming the heady feeling of my mind leaving my body behind.

As the gray mist that had enveloped me lifted, I was struck by something entirely different. This time when I transported I felt the familiarity of my vampire body. My senses were all more acute and the power that was missing on the previous experience was definitely present.

Expecting Bella to be near, I scanned the area, but didn't find her. There was no familiar scent or heartbeat anywhere. Reading the minds of the people around me wasn't helping either. Sifting through the jumble of thoughts, I realized that I was on the boardwalk of Atlantic City New Jersey.

Walking through the throng of people, I continued my search. She could be anywhere, but I knew I had to find her, I had to protect her from whatever danger she was about to face.

The warm sun was gracefully easing into the distant horizon as the gray shadows of night crept over the city. It was approaching twilight, the time when the monsters of the dark felt free to roam and seek their pleasures.

Further down the boardwalk I took notice of the shops and arcades, searching for any sign there. Passing the bathing suit rental and the skee ball sign that advertised 9 balls for 5 cents, I was prepared for the possibility that I would not be able to read her mind, which meant I would have to continue exploring the minds of others for some clue of her. The smell of stale popcorn and beer permeated the air. There were fewer and fewer people moving along the wooden sidewalks now as I longed for a sign, any sign of Bella.

If I could save her life, I felt sure that her nightmares would end, even if I had to wait longer for her. It was Bella's safety and happiness that were important above all else, for me, it had always been.

Turning down a dark street where the lampposts were mostly lifeless and the cool, damp, musty air, putrid with the smell of decay told me that no one ever traveled this way, no one except those who didn't wish to be seen. That is where, in this lonely desolate place, I found him.

His thoughts were so rushed, so excited. His heart beat rapidly as he shifted the burden he held in his arms.

Scouring the street and the darkened doorways for any glimpse of him, I was halted by the sheer evilness of his thoughts.

Of all the women he had killed before, this would be his finest. She was so young and obviously untouched. She had been so naive and trusting. It had been too easy, really, for him to lure her away. He would take his time and savor his conquest. He would take her over and over and when she no longer pleased him, he would revel in the last thing he could take from her. The thought of her cries of pain made him incredibly aroused and he couldn't wait to get started.

I didn't have to hear her heartbeat or smell her all too familiar fragrance to know who he meant. It was Bella, my Bella, no matter what her name or identity might be in this lifetime, it was she that he was thinking about.

Moving closer, hiding in the shadows, making sure not to be seen, I knew I could save her. She didn't have to die. Then, suddenly, we were both aware, the human monster and I, of someone else.

It was a policeman calling to some boys in the distance. They were unaware of what was taking place, of what they had stumbled onto. To get to Bella, to stop her killer, I would have to expose myself. They would see and they would know. They would have to die as well, these innocents whose only crime was being in the path of my prey.

But, I couldn't kill them, could I? It went against all that I had believed in for so long, and all that Carlisle had tried to teach me. How would I face him after destroying human life so recklessly.

The monster's mind flew quickly now, it raced almost as fast as my own. He couldn't take his time, it would have to be quick. He needed to take her life, he thirsted for her blood almost the way a vampire would.

But, the police officer was distracted by the youngsters.

Maybe he could get away with her after-all, Bella's captor thought.

Maybe I could get away, too, maybe the innocents could be spared.

As he moved with her, she began to stir and moan. She was waking up, where was the chloroform? Shit! He muttered as she became more vocal.

We were almost to a place where I could break open my vampire speed when he sensed more than heard my movement.

Instinctively he put his knife to her throat and slit the soft white flesh, burying the four inch blade up to the hilt.

I was not aware, at first, of the primal growl that emanated from deep within my chest, but it alerted not only the murderer, but the policeman as well.

They were both running, one towards Bella and one away from her.

The anger that overtook me in that moment was so intense I could no longer think. Without regard for being seen, I sped forward, capturing the monster a few yards away.

His death was so quick, I hardly remember it. I snapped his neck with one movement. I might as well have been breaking a dried twig in two for all the force I used. It was much too merciful an end for this evil man.

As I dropped his lifeless corpse to the ground I noticed how young he looked, even though I guessed his age to be more around 30. His thick blond hair and pale blue eyes gave him a youthful appearance and probably helped him greatly when he was luring his victims.

Considering all the pain he had inflicted, his face was intriguingly worry free. No trace of the vile acts he had committed could be found on the thing that lay before me. I moved away from this beast, no longer wanting anything to do with him, even in death.

Retracing my steps I found the policeman bent over the body of my beloved. Her heart had taken it's last few beats as I was disposing of her killer.

The remorse and guilt I felt for having failed yet again was overwhelming. With the policeman at her side, I couldn't even hold her. Standing alone, in the shadows, I was convinced that the ache I felt would surely rip me in two. I wept silent, dry tears as the swirling sensations filled my mind once more and all too soon I was back, sitting next to my father and Jasper.

Burying my head in my hands, my shoulders slumped forward, I let my grief spill out.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't watch her die over and over. It's too much, it's too painful. I was so close, and still I couldn't save her."

"I know that this is very hard for you Edward, but try to remember, the 16 year old girl that died tonight was not Mrs Cullen. She was not the one who needed saving. Your wife, the one who slips further and further from you each day is the one we are attempting to save." Andrew reached out to place his hand on my shoulder as his grandmother began to speak.

"This journey is a difficult one, my dear, but all will be revealed. We must stay strong, for Bella's sake."

Carlisle eased his arm around my shoulders as I leaned into him for support, too tired and emotionally spent to say anything more.

"Do not give up hope, Edward. All is going as it should. Rest, we will return tomorrow." The old woman stood incredibly straight, for someone her age. "Come Andrew, you promised me dinner."

Jasper escorted our guests out as I continued to lean against Carlisle.

We sat there in silence for a few moments more. Father and son, one giving strength and support and one accepting it gratefully. Eventually, I was able to speak again.

"She was murdered Carlisle, and I killed the man that did it. I didn't drink his blood, but I killed him just the same. I know you must be disappointed in me, but I can't feel sorry for what I did. He deserved to die and I'd do it again. I wish that I could have made him suffer more, the way he wanted her to suffer, the way he'd made all those other women suffer before her. But, I am sorry I let you down."

My father shook his head at me. "You have nothing to apologize for Edward, he was a vile man, as you said. You acted on instinct and I'm sure I would have done the same in your position. You also spared the lives of the policeman and those young boys, if you'll remember. It took a lot of restraint on your part to do that, there isn't anything for you to be ashamed about, I'm very proud of you son."

"How did you know about that? How did you know about the others?"

"Helena explained the events that took place during your teleportation, as they happened. Jasper and I listened to everything that you had to go through. It was very difficult, I admit, hearing it all and not being able to help you in any way." He sighed deeply at the memory.

"You help more than you know, father, more than I can possibly express. I will be forever grateful that you were here with me during this, I don't know if I could have survived it alone."

He tightened his arm around me a little more, to express his mutual feelings.

"Did they tell you about the first time, when Bella was a little girl, too?"

"Yes, Andrew explained it all as it was happening, but this time Helena spoke instead. They have quite an interesting connection, those two. It's rather a fascinating ability. I hope Aro never learns of them, for their sakes."

I nodded silently at the truth of his words.

"I can't help thinking that they're wrong, though. I need to save her, I know it. It has to be the reason for the nightmares. She is reliving her deaths over and over, and each time, I do nothing to help her. Bella is counting on me Carlisle, I can't let her down."

"I'm afraid I am completely out of my element here, Edward. I can only trust that Helena and her grandson know what they're doing and that this will indeed help Bella in some way that I cannot see as yet. They are right about one thing, this experience has drained you. Go home, to your wife and rest." Without further words, he rose, patting me gently on the back.

Bowing to his suggestion, I made my way back to the cottage, but not before making sure that no evidence of my previous torment could be seen by my precious wife.

We spent our time together as we usually did now, holding each other and talking quietly. Talking of everything and nothing. However, the one subject we never spoke of, the one that plagued both our minds, was what was happening to Bella and, therefore, to us. Would we survive this together as we had all of our earlier struggles, or would we finally be torn apart?

Was this the proverbial 'Straw'? Only, we both knew this was no straw, it was a whole damn forest, so thick and dense that we might not ever be able to cut our way through.

The hours passed quietly, I never wanted to leave her side. We took no notice of the setting or rising of the sun, we were content to just be together.

She had only one episode during our hours alone, but it was so long this time, that I wondered if it might be the last, that she might never return to me. When she did wake from her torture, she opened her eyes, her stiff body relaxing slightly, but she was unable to speak.

She was quiet for a long time, so I held her gently, telling her over and over how much I loved her. How, no matter what happened, I would continue to love and take care of her.

Rosalie arriving on our doorstep told me it was fast approaching the time to meet with Andrew and the others. She came on the pretext of preparing some meals for Renesme.

We had decided some time ago, that although our daughter was quite content with hunting as we did, she needed to be comfortable consuming human food as well. That way, when she was in the company of humans, like her grampa Charlie, she would be comfortable eating with them.

Reluctantly, I left my Bella to once again try to find a way out of the forest for both of us.

A/N End of chapter three. Still interested? Hope so! Please review.


	4. 1964

**A/N Here is ch 4 I hope you like it. Please R&R**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all that is Twilight**

**1964 **

"Thanks for comin' with me bro', I still get a little nervous dealing with the humans. I just know I'da messed up tryin' to buy tires for my baby here."

I looked to my left and saw Emmett patting the dashboard of his truck.

Being transported was getting easier. I no longer felt nauseous or even dizzy, but I had also never woken up with one of my family so close by. I felt torn, should I pretend that nothing had happened, or should I confide in Emmett hoping he would understand and believe me? I needed to find out where and when I currently was.

Wishing that Andrew could somehow guide me in my decision, I continued to weigh my options.

_What's wrong bro'? Where did ya go? _Emmet's thoughts questioned my faraway expression.

"I'm here Em, I was just thinking. So...Em...could I ask you a crazy question?"

"Sure Eddie, ask me anything."

"Let me warn you though, Emmett, it's going to sound crazy, but I need you to answer and not think too much about it, OK?"

"Yeah, whatever man, ask away."

Drawing a deep, but unnecessary breath I looked him squarely in the eye and calmly said, "What year is it and exactly where are we?"

"Huh?"Emmett's eyes grew wide as I stared back at him in earnest and he realized I was indeed serious. He swallowed hard before speaking again.

"It's 1964, and we're in Alaska. We're headin' into Anchorage for some new tires for my truck." His reply conveyed the same gravity my question had.

_Thirty-four years had passed? Why did it take so long for her to come back? How old was she now? Helena said Bella never lived past the age of 25, but she could be any age up to that. How was I going to find her? _

Remaining silent for a moment more, I thought back to 1964.

"The earthquake", I whispered to myself. "She's going to die in the earthquake!" I yelled. "Emmett it's March 27th, 1964! We have to get to her before the earthquake hits! If we don't, we won't be able to save her."

_How could this be happening again? I was so close and yet I was helpless to stop the events that would take her from me once more. _

"Whoa, Ed, who's gonna die? Why do we hafta save her? And, what earthquake? Can you see into the future now? Why didn't Alice see it comin'?

"I can't explain all of it right now Emmett, but trust me please, we have to get into Anchorage as soon as possible!"

The confusion was still very much present in Emmett's expression as he pushed the truck to it's limit by pressing forcefully on the gas pedal. He gave in to worry as he glanced at me. He knew I had never been so agitated or mysterious with him.

When I spoke again I was slightly calmer, but just as insistent. "We're going to have to ditch the truck Em, we can go faster on foot."

"What, leave Betsy behind?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, but yeah. Emmett, when the earthquake hits most of these roads are gonna turn into quicksand anyway, from the rising water underneath the soil. The truck's not gonna make it, even if we stay with it."

Emmett patted the dashboard of his truck Betsy one last time as he reluctantly pulled over to the side of the road. His love for his truck went deep, but his trust in me was unwavering. Exiting the truck, we quickly abandoned the road for the anonymity the forest would provide.

Running at top speed, I explained, as simply as I could, the outlandishly sounding story, to my loyal and supportive brother. To say that Emmett accepted everything I said as gospel would be a lie, but he believed in my conviction, if not in my complete sanity. To make the best time, we traveled as much as we could through the cover of the woods.

We felt none of the usual exhilaration associated with a long run through the forest, and took no notice of the lush green surroundings coming awake after a long winters sleep. The lucky animals nearby were spared because I would not be derailed from the speeding train my mission had become. I would not be tempted, no matter how fragrant their blood smelled.

Forced to slow down once we were out of the shelter of the forest and into open countryside, Emmett turned to me.

"So Edward, I get that you don't know exactly who this girl or woman is or what she looks like. So how are you gonna find her? Where are we s'posed to look for her?"

"I really can't say, Em. I guess I'll just have to follow my instincts, like I did before. I only know that, when I find her, I'll know. It doesn't make sense, but it's all I've got."

We made it into Anchorage at 5:30 pm, 6 minutes before the quake was to hit. Pausing, I allowed my body and mind to be directed. After a few long and torturous seconds I felt the pull I was waiting for and followed it.

Running at human speed was agony, I needed to get to Bella quickly. We picked up the pace when we could , but we were barely into the city when the ground began to move. This was it, the thing I dreaded most, the earthquake had hit and I was still no where close to finding her. The few people we passed were running in panic and paid no attention to us.

We ran faster as the ground beneath our feet thrust forward and back.

Telephone poles were bent over, their wires drooping lazily. Houses tilted and slid off their foundations. Road that had once been connected and continuous was now ripped apart, leaving a great wall and deep valley in it's wake. The local J.C. Penny store began to collapse as we ran down 5th Avenue.

The shaking that had gone on for approximately 4 minutes, quieted as we neared C Street. I stopped, an overwhelming fear in my gut.

"It can't happen again." I said to myself as I returned to running. I turned the corner, I was so close, so close.

When I saw the cafe sign over the collapsed building I knew I had reached my destination. Without conscious thought, I sprinted into the ravaged structure screaming for Bella. What I saw hit my mind with as much force as the earthquake that had just passed through the town.

Two men were pulling a lifeless female from the wreckage.

"Bella", I whispered.

One of the men looked up, confusion on his face.

"Bella?" He said, "Her name isn't Bella, this is...was... Marie." His voice somber as he looked down at the dead girl. "She only started working here a few months ago, just after she came to town. Don't even know where she moved from. Don't even know where her family is." He muttered sadly as he shook his head.

"This Bella you're lookin' for, you think it's our Marie?"

"No." I heard Emmett from behind me. "We were trying to find our sister, but that's not her. C'mon Edward, let's keep looking."

His giant arm wrapped around me as he pulled me outside again.

Numbly I followed, unable to speak or focus on anything but the vision of her broken body. As I looked up, across the street, next to the gas station on the corner was the tire shop. The very tire shop Emmett and I had been headed for.

The irony of it all came crashing down on me and I began to shake. Hysteria overtook me as I laughed maniacally.

Emmett held me closer to his side, unsure what to do to pull me out of my fit.

"It's no use, I can't get it right!" Turning to face him, I yelled. "I'll never get it right!" Crumpling to the ground, my body shook with despair, as I chanted over and over. "I'll never get it right."

"Edward! Edward!" Someone was yelling at me, it must be Emmett, but I didn't care. Let him yell, my grief had enveloped me and I wanted nothing more than for it to consume me entirely.

"Edward!" The voice yelled again. Only this time I could tell it wasn't Emmett, it was Carlisle's voice.

The sound brought me back. I was still chanting and rocking back and forth when I realized I was in the company of my family once again.

"Edward" Carlisle spoke more softly now as I stopped rocking and turned to stare at him. "Edward can you hear me? Do you know where you are?"

"Yes, yes I know" My hand went up to cover my eyes and I slumped back against the sofa as the emotions from the last few moments flooded out of me, draining me dry.

"Andrew?"

Listening to Carlisle, I could hear his deep concern for me.

"I don't think my son can take much more of this. Are you sure it's necessary? Are you sure that this will help us help Bella? Help us find a cure for Bella's affliction?"

"There is only one more page to read, one more life to examine. We must not give up hope when we are so close to our goal." Helena answered for her grandson, who nodded in agreement.

"Yes, my grandmother is right, we really shouldn't abandon our sessions at this juncture, but I am concerned about the toll it is taking on Mr Cullen. Perhaps it is best if Mrs Cullen join us for our last meeting."

"No!" I shouted, sitting up straight, glaring at him. "No, you can't ask her to witness this. She's not strong enough! I won't allow it!"

"Mrs Cullen may be stronger than you think. Haven't you consistently underestimated her strength in the past? And, hasn't she proven her strength to you time and again in those situations? At least Mrs Cullen should be informed of both opinions so she could make her own decision. I feel strongly that her physical presence would be a calming influence on you during the time you are transported and make the transition back to the present a more peaceful journey for you." Andrew waited, hoping I would see the logic in his reasoning.

His hoping was wasted in the moment. There was no logic for me where the safety of Bella was concerned. I would scream to the rooftops, I would rip their bodies limb from limb, burning them in a giant fire and gladly join them in the pyre before I would permit them to burden her with this.

It wasn't working anyway, she was no better off than before we started. There was nothing to be gained by adding to her torture.

"Carlisle, explain to him please, that she is to weak." I beseeched my father.

"I understand your concern, Edward, but Andrew makes some good points. What if we..."

At that moment my cell phone rang, the call was from Bella so I answered it immediately. "Yes, sweetheart, are you okay?"

Her voice was flat, but direct. "Alice told me everything, I'll be at the meeting with Andrew tomorrow."

_Damn my sister, her visions and her big mouth. _

I closed the phone after vowing to Bella that we would discuss this later, even though I knew I would not win an argument over this with her. Bella was ten times more stubborn than I could ever hope to be and I had learned, much to my dismay that, I could deny her nothing. Still I had to try.


	5. 1986

**A/N Here is the final chapter. Many thanks to those who took the time to read. This has been a learning experience for me. I had fun writing it. please review to let me know what you think. Thanks again.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but wouldn't we all like to have a little piece of Edward now and then?**

**1986 **

Feeling my frustration increasing, I fought to keep myself from flailing my arms about and yelling at my oh so stubborn mate. What kept me in check mostly was my concern for her fragile state. Nothing was so important that I would put her condition at greater risk, so trying to win an argument while reigning in my anger was definitely harder than I had anticipated.

I pleaded, I reasoned, I tried to barter, but I gained no ground with her. I begged on bended knee, I even attempted empty threats, but Bella would not be moved. Her mind was made up, she would attend the session today, whether I agreed or not. She had me and she knew it. She knew I would give in to her.

Carlise and Jasper had come to the cottage early, to recount the earlier sessions in detail, so she would not be surprised in any way. The idea of listening to Carlisle go over the sessions again was making me extremely nervous, I wasn't sure that I could take it. But, leaving Bella to hear it alone was causing my ever present level of guilt to skyrocket. She shouldn't have to hear this without me, I should put my own discomfort aside to support her. But, what if I made it worse, what if I broke down again, in front of her this time? To say I was torn, was an understatement.

My beautiful wife, however, read my expression as though she were reading one of her favorite books. Taking all the burden of decision making from me once more, she insisted that I leave, citing that I would only be uncomfortable and in the way. Refusing to go far, I opted to go back to the main house for a game of chess with Alice to hopefully distract me. It was also with the understanding that I would greet our guests, when they arrived, and escort them to the cottage.

The group gathered in our small living-room, Bella sitting on my left. She patted my knee reassuringly before removing it so I could concentrate. Turning away from her so I could face Andrew better, I was still keenly aware of her presence. My teleportation this time was swift and relatively easy. Once I had released my fear about Bella being at the session, my mind flew back over the years and I found myself alone.

Yes, I was alone alright, but I was in my car and it was moving. With vampire speed and efficiency I assessed the situation and acclimated myself to my surroundings. Glancing at the scenery for a few seconds, I recognized the landscape of Seattle Washington.

Driving down Highway 99, late in the afternoon, the traffic was starting to thicken and congeal like a cold soup. I hated to have to slow down for heavy traffic.

It was the first day I was taking my new Volvo 480 ES, out alone. I had ordered it from an overseas dealer after attending the Geneva Motor Show in March. It had been delivered yesterday and all afternoon and evening, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper had pestered me with requests to go for rides. Rosalie was more importantly occupied in perfecting her 'killer' manicure, Carlisle was pulling an evening shift, at the hospital, as a favor to a colleague, which only left Esme.

She could see how happy I was to finally get the car and how much I just wanted to experience the drive for myself. No way would she impose herself like the others, she would never ask. So of course I took her for a ride first. She actually went for a ride twice with me last night. I had offered a third, but she declined graciously, encouraging me to give my siblings one last ride just before dawn. Never one to argue with my sweet, loving mother, I acquiesced.

So now I was alone, I ran my hand over the dash, marveling at all the computer controls. Emmett had complained about the room in the back seat, but I didn't care, I didn't intend to be anywhere but the driver's seat and that felt just fine. I glanced around at the black leather interior with touches of midnight blue that matched the exterior and sighed a happy sigh.

I was approaching the Aurora Bridge when a shiver ran through me. With complete clarity, I remembered the girl that I had watched jump from the Aurora Bridge in 1986. As the memories replayed in my mind, I knew I would not reach her in time. The heavy traffic had prevented me before and it seemed it would do so again. Praying to the gods, I weaved through the slow moving cars. Please, a few more moments please. Let her pause a little longer this time. If I could reach her, talk to her, please!

I could see her standing next to the railing in the middle of the bridge. Soon she would climb up, over the barrier and jump. No one was paying any attention to her. Even from this impossible distance, I could see the sadness on her face and in her eyes.  
What had brought her to do this? What heartache had befallen her that she could no longer endure, that she would end her life rather than go on? She took one last look around. It seemed she was searching for something, someone, that would save her from her fateful decision.

BELLA! I screamed over the din of the car motors. She couldn't hear me, she took no notice.

Steeling her shoulders, she quickly climbed over the rail. I shut my eyes, I couldn't see this again. When I opened them a second later she was gone. It was over, and with it she took my hope.

Someone screamed, someone else gasped. There were murmurs of shock and disbelief as the motorists who had finally noticed, gazed at the horrific site.

Crossing the bridge as quickly as I could, I refused to look at the spot from where she had jumped. My fist slammed against the dashboard and I heard it crack as a chunk broke off and fell to the floor. Exiting the bridge, I parked at the first opportunity and started down the embankment, to the edge of the water, on foot.

People were gathering to gawk and discuss the event that had occurred only a moment ago. I moved away from them instinctively, always keeping my distance.

"Izzy! Izzy! A man pushed his way through only to fall to his knees as he looked at water.  
He called her Izzy. This man knew her. I needed to find out about this woman,to find out what pushed her to suicide. She was the last incarnation before my Bella would be born, the closest to the woman I so desperately loved.

Moving towards him, I gently asked, "Did you know her? Was she your girlfriend?"  
The man, now standing, stared out with a forlorn expression and shook his head. "No, she wasn't my girlfriend, but she was my friend. I found the note she left on my door and I came here as quickly as I could, but I was too late." He threw a rock that he had been clutching and it made a soft 'plop' sound as it hit the water.

"Do you have any idea why she would take her life?" I asked, expressing my sympathy for his loss by placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Why does anybody do it? She wasn't happy, I guess. She pretended to be, but deep down I don't think she was." He shrugged as he tried to gather his thoughts. I let my hand fall to my side. "Mostly I think she was just lonely. Izzy didn't have many friends. Her best friend got married last week, she's on her honeymoon right now. I don't know how I'm gonna tell her about this when she gets back. He sighed heavily.

"She...Izzy didn't have a boyfriend then?" I hoped he didn't think I was prying.

"Nah, she and I tried the romantic stuff but it didn't work for either of us. We talked alot about meeting someone and falling in love. About finding our soul mate, but she said that she didn't think she would ever find hers. She said that either he didn't exist at all or that she would never be able to find him."

"I should have known when she gave me her collection of poetry that she was giving up altogether. She loved those books so much, I didn't think she would ever part with them. They weren't worth anything, mostly just a bunch of old paperbacks really, but I swear, if there was a fire and Izzy had to evacuate, she'd take those books out first."  
"Why are you so interested in her, did you know her?" The man stared at me quizzically.  
"No, I saw her jump." My voice lowered. "She looked so sad, I felt I needed to know something about her."

"So you think it was because she was lonely?"

"Izzy wanted to be loved. She longed for it." He said as he stared at me once more.

"She wanted that connection to another person, one other person above all else. Hell, maybe it was all that damn poetry that she filled her head with. I tried to tell her the world doesn't work that way, but she'd just shake her head like I was crazy. Izzy said that was exactly how the world was supposed to be. She'd laugh at me and say 'Steve you'll find her one of these days. You'll find the woman you're supposed to be with, I know you will.' It's funny though, a couple of nights ago, Izzy and I were out for drinks to celebrate her birthday. 'Cause I was gonna work straight through the weekend and wouldn't be able to go out tonight, and I met this girl."

"It was kinda like Izzy said, I mean, I don't know if she's my soul mate or nothin', but it kinda feels like she could be. It's like there's this connection already, even though we just met a couple of days ago."

"Maybe that's why Izzy did it, maybe she saw a connection between Molly and I and she figured that I wouldn't have time for her anymore. But, I wouldn't have abandoned her I swear. I don't know, maybe she was planning this all along and was just waiting for me to find someone before she did it so I wouldn't be alone. Izzy did stuff like that sometimes."  
The ambulance, fire trucks and police cars had all gathered now and the rescue team assembled to attempt to retrieve her from the water. I turned my back on the spectacle, not wanting to witness the gruesome task.

Everyone began to clear a path to allow the officials to do their job. Before he could walk away, too, I grasped his sleeve. Looking in the eyes of the man that knew her best, I whispered to him. "What was she like?"

Without wavering or faltering one bit his eyes locked on mine and replied. "She was the kindest person I have ever known. Izzy wasn't kind just on the surface like most people are, she was kind deep down, she had the biggest heart."

He stuck his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans and looked out over the city. "Ya know she volunteered a couple of days a week at the homeless shelter. Those guys are sure gonna miss her. And what with working full time at the coffee house and taking night courses she didn't really have any free time. Maybe that's why she never met anyone."

At his next thought he chuckled slightly. "Izzy was always pickin' up strays. Dogs, cats, it didn't matter. She'd feed um and find them good homes. She wasn't allowed to have pets in her apartment, but she'd hide them out for a few days 'till she found a place for them. She even found an injured raccoon once. I told her that thing's probably got rabies or somethin', but she didn't listen. Izzy fed it and nursed it before turning over to an animal shelter. She wanted to be a veterinarian, but she didn't have the money for tuition."

"Did Izzy have any family?"

"Not that I knew of, her parents and grandparents were all gone, I know that for sure and she didn't have any brothers or sisters. She never mentioned anyone else. We always spent the holidays together so no, I don't think there was any of her family left."

The police were moving through the crowd, asking the onlookers if anyone knew the girl and could identify the body. Her friend started to move forward preparing to answer the officials queries.

I took that occasion to remove my self from the collected curiosity seekers, stepping back and walking to where I had parked my car. Getting in, I sat quietly, my head resting on the steering wheel. Was this how it was to end? I had witnessed the death of the tragic girl who was the last of Bella's previous lives. It was my last chance. It was Bella's last chance. There was no hope, no more opportunities to make it right.

The familiar sensations started and I knew it was time to face the music. It was time to admit that I had let down the most important person in my life.

Dropping my hands from Andrews, I leaned back into the sofa as my hands fell into my lap, mentally rejoining my family once more. Instantly my left hand was covered by the soft, delicate one of my wife.

Shame filled me, I couldn't look at her, I dreaded seeing the heartbroken expression that was entirely my fault. I couldn't face her knowing that I had failed yet again. I hadn't helped at all. I promised Bella that I would save her somehow and I failed, just like I failed to keep her safe while she was with me as a human. And then I took her life. I was the last thing that happened to her, the last horrific thing, the last monster. There would be no more incarnations for her to get it right, no more chances at life for Bella.

"Bella, you understand now don't you? You see what has been causing your pain?" Helena was smiling at us, though she spoke only to Bella.

I was about to reply that I didn't see or understand anything of the sort when my wife spoke up.

"Yes! That's it. It's so obvious." A look of wonderment graced her precious face.

"What is so obvious Bella?"

I could see much of the tension, that had been there since the episodes began, start to recede. The worry lines easing from her brow, she looked instantly younger and more like the beautiful Bella I knew.

"You couldn't save me Edward."

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I felt the sting of nonexistent tears. "Don't worry, my love, we'll find a way..." Squeezing her hand in both of mine.

"No, Edward, listen to me. In my lives before, you couldn't save me. You would have saved me if you could have, but you couldn't. I died over and over, always coming back, only to die in pain again."

"When we met in this life, you called me a 'danger magnet'. All those times, the van, those men in Port Angeles, James, you saved me from being killed again and again, but it didn't make a difference. Things kept happening to me. My life was always at risk of ending too soon... until you changed me."

"But, the nightmares, why have you been sick these past three months? I don't understand." I searched her face for the true meaning of her words.

Her head tilted upward slightly as she quietly continued.

"It always troubled me, the guilt you felt for changing me." Her free hand caressing my cheek as she looked sadly at me. "I knew you still felt it, even though you denied it, and even though I tried to convince you otherwise, you blamed yourself for taking my life."

Another wave of guilt washed over me as she spoke and she saw it in my face instantly.

"No, Edward, don't you see? Because of you, I'll never have to go through that. You saved me, sweetheart... I won't ever have to die like that again."

A tentative smile eased over her face, as she waited for me to see what she saw.

Looking only at her, I noticed the light sparkle and shine from her eyes.

In that moment, in that beautiful gaze, I fell in love with her all over again. In that moment I knew... I knew she was right, and I knew that she would no longer be tormented by the nightmares. I knew I didn't have to feel guilty anymore. I knew fate had willed it that I save her from her human life.


End file.
